7, 1999 Austin, TX (Reuter's) Dylan McArthur Read made his debut tonight at 10:45
pm at Renaissance Women's Center in the Austin neighborhood of Westlake Hills.
Future supermodel girlfriends, the Atlanta Braves, and the Nobel committee have all
already expressed interest in one-on-one interviews with the "little fella."
After 19 hours of labor, which started at 4 am
and ended with two and a half hours of "pushing," proud and exhausted mother
Annemarie delivered an 8-pound, 4-ounce screaming baby, who was red-faced and
open-mouthed. Dylan's father, Dave, looked on in astonishment, although several
witnesses described his countenance as that of a "deer caught in the
headlights." He was later observed to be "high fiving" his wife and
muttering the phrase "it's Miller time."
Witnesses included the newborn's paternal
grandmother, Martha Orr, who, when told that she was wearing the world's biggest
"shit-eating grin," promptly chastised the father of her grandson not to use
strong language around the baby. To date, father and grandmother have not come to
blows over who gets to hold the baby.
The proud papa has already discovered that
babies can cry longer than he can stand to let them cry, that even 12-hour-old infant boys
have uncanny "aim," and that there are few things more satisfying that sleeping
with your child sprawled across your chest. He is eagerly awaiting whatever else he
can learn from his son.
As for the son, every person in the delivery
room had the good taste to agree, at least until they were out of earshot of the new
mother, that Dylan is the most beautiful baby ever born. Certainly his fleeting grin
and dazzling blue eyes helped all observers to reach that conclusion.
All participants have returned home, healthy
and happy. Regular feedings and diaper changings are now in progress. Stay
tuned for further reports.
Dylan weighs in with his opinion
(3.74 kg = 8lbs, 4oz).
Elated and relieved, Annemarie beams a smile
Grandma checks out the newborn
Dad thinks "this doesn't suck."
Dylan thinks "I'm not so sure about